12 Ways to Prove You’re a True Patriot

We’ve all been there, in a bar, in a stadium, at a house party...you’re watching the big game/match/fight and everyone is cheering wildly for their home nation’s side...but wait. You feel pitifully left out. You have no flag. You have no vuvuzela. You have no face paint. Everyone is doubting your commitment to the cause! Do you really want your team to win? Or are you just there for the free lukewarm, day-old beer? Well cry into your pint no longer! With these 12 items, not only will people never doubt your patriotism ever again. You’re going to be the one they all turn to when the troops need rallying in times of trouble!
Sexy Flag Dress

No not just for the ladies. Is it a flag? Is it a dress? There’s no need to decide!

Sexy Cheerleader Outfit

Yeh that’s right...you cheer for that team!

Colored Pom-Poms

You’re gonna need some colored pom-poms to go with that Cheerleader Outfit!

Flag Sofa Cushion

Because your butt needs to sit proudly too!

American Flag Pants

Look at you superstar...even your pants have flags on them!

Mixed Flag Socks

That’s right, even your feet need to be decked out in the national colors.



The world’s most irritating instrument. Piss off your friends in the name of patriotism!

Wig Cap

You need one of these bizarre things if you want to convince people you love your country.

Hunk Country T-Shirt

A chance to show off the guns, while still being patriotic.

I Love My Country Keyring

Shove one of these bad boys on your keys, and every time you unlock your door – you’ll be proud.

Flag Boxers

They say it’s what’s underneath that counts.

Dog Flag Outfit

Even your dog is patriotic. Go team!

Johnny Roastbeef was born in New York City and has always enjoyed working with large groups of people. His hobbies include fast cars and knot-tying.